Recently, I have felt led to be of service to foster care children. Since I was a teenager, I have thought that I would adopt out of the foster care system – but right now, I am not in a position to be able to do that. Instead, I am looking for other ways that I can help and landed on two. I start training next month to be a court appointed special advisor for my county, and I signed up to be a mentor for the organization, One Simple Wish.
The mentor program for OSW is a new service where they are matching kids in their program with mentors that are willing to share experience, expertise or advice on topics like finance, education or life skills. It could be something like “How do I apply for a job?” or “What do I need to get good credit?”
They asked each mentor to fill out an application to be added to the database. While I filled it out, I was visited by an old friend: imposter syndrome. As I listed out my experience and education, I found myself wanting to inflate my qualifications so that I would be “good enough” to be considered helpful to these kids. Never mind the fact that I have:
Two college degrees
27 years of working experience, mostly in leadership roles
A senior-level human resources professional certification
Taken and taught a personal finance class
Bought and sold 5 houses in my adult life
Mentored dozens of young professionals in the past 20 years
Volunteered at more non-profits than I can count
Even with all of those experiences to share, I still felt like I might not be “good enough” to help. Imposter syndrome reared its ugly head and tried to talk me out of volunteering at all.
Thankfully, since this wasn’t my first dance with IS, I knew what to do. I needed to get this nonsense out of my own head and share it with someone I knew would be honest with me. I shot a quick text to a friend, telling her about my doubts.
Her response: “I would imagine that you did leave off one key qualification: your willingness. That alone makes you a good mentor candidate. Hit send, dummy.”
I laughed and submitted the application.
That always seems to be the answer to my self-doubt or fear or any other crazy thoughts that creep in: saying it out loud to someone I know loves me and will be honest with me. Just the act of getting those thoughts out of my head by saying them out loud usually stops the crazy train from chugging along its track. Even better, I usually hear something helpful that redirects my thinking to something positive or alleviates my fear. And in the best of circumstances, I hear that my friend gets where I am coming from, has been there too, can totally relate and has some experience of their own to share.
So, next time you feel doubt or fear creep in, I hope you’ll use this little trick to see how it can work for you. If it’s too scary to call someone or say it face to face, you can type it out in a text or email – but don’t let fear talk you out of connecting with someone else or of doing things you really want or need to do.
Hit send, dummy.
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