Is that how she sees me?

Last night, when we were eating dinner, Diana and I were recapping our day and she said something that changed the way I think about myself.

We spent some of the afternoon at our neighborhood pool, and I kept an eye on her from my perch in the shallow end talking to some of the other moms while she played on the other end of the pool. I had observed her playing with kids I hadn’t met before and asked if she enjoyed it.

She said, “The girls were nice, but the boys were mean.” When I asked her to elaborate, she said that they had teased her a little and it hurt her feelings. “I told them I was going to go get tell my mom, but they said, they weren’t scared of my mom.”

I started to ask her for a description of the boys, because my inner momma bear was ready to pounce. Then, she continued.

“So, I said that they better be, because my mom works out a lot!”

{Cue the needle scratching across the record}

I couldn’t have been more surprised to hear that she thinks of me as someone that works out a lot. That is definitely not how I would have described myself, if she had asked me.

For the past few years, it was not a priority to take care of my physical health, despite some compelling medical and personal reasons to do so. Then, when the pandemic started, I tried to seize the opportunity to put more focus on that aspect of my life, incorporating walks, hikes and runs into our daily routine, and even setting up a little gym with some weights and equipment in my garage. As a former marathon runner, it’s been humbling to have to “start over”, but I have committed to moving my body every day for at least 30 minutes.

I like to get my workouts over early in the morning, so most mornings, when she wakes up, she finds me in the gym or we head out the door for a walk with the dog. (Sometimes, she doesn’t want to get dressed so we go on a “pajama walk” – whatever it takes!)

So, my behavior showed her the kind of person I am trying to be: someone who prioritizes her health.

It reminded me that she is watching my actions, and that they make an impression. This morning, I did not want to get out of bed, but I heard Diana’s words in my head. It motivated me to get up and hit the treadmill.

It also made me realize that I can change my own perception of who I am, if I change the story I am telling myself about what I used to be like and instead look at my current habits and behaviors. I can be the person that works out a lot, because today, I took the actions that support that story, instead of the one I have been dragging around with me from the past.