Life lessons and crying in my car

Now that it’s summertime, the inevitable parent question is “what is Diana doing this summer?” and I am always so proud to say that she’s volunteering at the science center. I don’t usually include that what she did on the first day of her orientation left me crying in my car.

Around March, Diana came home super excited about an opportunity she heard about at school to volunteer at the science center this summer as a junior teen counselor. In that position, she would help out with the younger kids’ camps and help out with demonstrations “on the floor” for visitors. I was thrilled that she was interested in volunteering, but double thrilled because this meant that I wouldn’t have to fork out a small fortune for summer camps this year. Parenting win!

I am trying not to micro-manage Diana’s life (as much) and let her remember her own assignments and due dates, but since it was mutually beneficial for me to have her volunteer, I paid a little closer attention to the deadline for this than for other things in her life. As the deadline approached, I finally told her we would sit down one evening to put her application in.

That night, as we looked through the requirements, I realized for the first time that she was supposed to submit a resume and fill out an official application, as well. I was thrilled when she said, “Mom, don’t worry, I already have my resume.” Unfortunately, her definition of a resume and mine couldn’t have been further apart! Of course she had never created one before, so she just put a few sentences on a page talking about her interest in science and was ready to call it a day. I lovingly reminded her that her mother worked in HR for a LIVING and that maybe I could help spruce it up. We collaborated on it for about an hour, and at the end, I could tell she felt really proud of all of the accomplishments we were able to include. “I forgot I did most of this! I am definitely going to be a good candidate now.”  (Life lesson: make use of the resources you have available.)

Diana also had to fill out the application and express her reasons for being interested in the opportunity. Again, we worked to flesh out her answers beyond “I like science and think this will be fun,” and ended up with a solid application that she was proud to submit. (Life lesson: if we put in a little effort, we end up with a better end result.)

Then, we waited.

And waited.

And waited. (Life lesson: sometimes things don’t happen on the timeline we would like.)

After about a month of waiting, I asked Diana how she expected to hear back from them and suggested she should reach out to them directly to find out if there was anything else she needed to do to be considered for the program. She opened her email, and low and behold, she HAD heard from them…weeks ago…and they were thrilled to extend her an invitation for an interview!  The only catch was that the deadline to sign up for the interview was the next day and there were literally two spots left available…and both were during school hours. We confirmed that her dad would be able to grab her early from school and signed her up for the next week. (Life lesson, check your dang email when you are waiting to hear back about something!)

We prepped for the interview like I would prep someone at work. We ran through questions that they might ask, and she came up with examples of times that she had demonstrated key behaviors they would likely be looking for. I was really impressed at how cool and collected she stayed even when I tried to stump her. (Life lesson: just because I am nervous, doesn’t mean she will be.) When the day came for the interview, her dad got her all set up for the Teams call, and reported back that she had nailed it!

A few days later, she received the notification that she was one of the 10% of kids that applied that had been accepted into the program and gave her some options to schedule her orientation. She picked the one that worked best with her schedule and signed up. (Life lesson: make sure your work schedule and beach trips don’t overlap.)

Diana was clearly very excited about this opportunity, even though none of her friends or classmates were going to be there with her. I kept asking if she was nervous, and she assured me she wasn’t. Diana is a self-proclaimed introvert, so I was nervous that she might have a little bit of a hard time finding a group to fit in with there. There was a virtual parent orientation that made me feel a little better, but it’s in my mama bear nature to worry.

On the morning of the orientation, we both got ready for “work” and headed out into the traffic that always happens that time of day going into Birmingham. We listened to music, talked about upcoming vacations and made jokes for about 95% of the commute. As we got officially into the city, the energy shifted and she told me she was nervous. I assured her that she would do great and offered to walk her in to help ease any nerves. (The orientation let us know that was an option for the first day for new participants.)

We parked in the parking deck and found the elevator to go to the lobby. In the elevator, her hand found mine, and I squeezed it tight to let her know I had her back. There was already a pretty big group assembled, and the senior counselors were doing ice breaker/get to know you activities to help everyone learn about each other. We stood at the back of the group, still holding hands, and before we knew it, one of the senior counselors said she would take this group up to the orientation, while the other counselors waited for the next wave to arrive.

With a final squeeze of her hand, I told her I loved her and that she would be great – and she followed the group headed out of the lobby. I was holding my breath watching her walk behind the group because I knew she was feeling so anxious. (Life lesson: your mom is always here for you and always has your back.)

And then, she did something that I will never forget.

Instead of keeping her head down and following along at the back of the group, I watched as the self-proclaimed introvert made a decision and changed her approach. She lifted her head, put her shoulders back, took a deep breath, and then jogged a little to catch up with the group. She put on a friendly face and waved at one of the girls towards the back of the line and introduced herself. (Life lesson: fake it til you make it, kiddo!)

As for me, I burst into tears and had to rush to my car to avoid embarrassing her or myself.

This was a huge shift from how things have been for the past few years – she got excited about the opportunity, she learned more about how to apply, she put in the work (with some help from mom and dad) to apply, she nailed the interview, and then, she literally shook off her nerves to go join the group and start making connections. I was so extraordinarily proud of her and felt like I was seeing a true glimpse into her future. I was overwhelmed with emotions knowing that she was truly learning how to make her own way and that even when she’s nervous, she has proven to herself that she can do hard things.

I kept my phone on me all day in case she called, but she never did. Her nana picked her up at the end of the day, and Diana talked her ear off on the way home about all of the cool things she learned. She was excited to go back the next day too and has remained excited for the past few weeks for each shift she works. She takes pride in having a “job”, and she loves getting to work with the younger kids.

This has absolutely been such a great experience for Diana. She’s building confidence in her capabilities, she’s making new connections, she’s learning how to go after things she wants to do, and so much more. I am tearing up again just thinking about how much she’s grown.

Life lesson: this incredible kid is growing up – and she’s going to be just fine.